The ATC Report

“In Control” – Leg 1

So how do we top what we’ve previously written for TAR5 and TAR6? In TAR5 we rated each team weekly on three categories that changed according to what was happening in the race. In TAR6 we were all over the place – sometimes doing interviews (okay, for the first time anywhere, we admit that we faked them), sometimes doing a column on the team that was eliminated, sometimes doing a column that really made no sense at all. So how do we top either of those? Yeah, you’re right. Topping what we did for TAR6 will be easy – those columns sucked. Come to think of it, so did the stuff we wrote for TAR5, so topping both of them should be a piece of cake.

For TAR7 we are just going to talk about what we thought of each episode. Sometimes we’ll speak from the perspective of former racers, but mostly just from the perspective of fans of the show. As usual, if we decide to throw something else in, we’ll do that, too. Let’s begin, shall we?

Dave: Right off the bat I noticed that these teams seem to be more “normal” than last season. Not a lot of models and actors in this crowd, or so it seems to me. Of course, Rob and Amber were recruited and I suspect the POW/beauty pageant winner were as well, but overall it seems the casting folks have gotten back to selecting average folks like you and me, Steve.
I want to know why the purse strings have loosened up and they’re giving away gobs of cash. $20,000 fer Chrissakes!
Steve: Yeah, regular people, fat guys, no models, blah-blah-blah. Yippee! Who cares? I want to know why the purse strings have loosened up and they’re giving away gobs of cash. $20,000 fer Chrissakes! A trip for every 1st place last season! Remember what we got for our 1st place leg? A big can of bupkis. These folks are profiting from our hard earned Emmy (which must have been lost in the mail as I haven’t received mine yet). And the grapes are probably sour.

Dave: I do have to point out that throughout tonight’s episode I kept thinking how many stupid mistakes all these teams were making. At times I wondered if any of them had actually ever seen The Amazing Race before. It started with every team heading for LAX and (apparently) not deciding which flight would potentially arrive in Lima the earliest. I know that if you and I had been in this race, we would have headed straight for the American flight, knowing that they hub in Dallas (as opposed to United, which hubs in Chicago). Granted, neither of the flights to Peru went to either airline’s hub, but we still would have made an informed (and as it turned out, correct) choice.

Steve: Grumble, mumble. I mean we didn’t even get a Kodak Easy Share friggin’ camera. Or a “We were first in a leg of The Amazing Race” sticker for our backpacks.

Dave: I then had to wonder how any team could get to that beach and decide to dig in a pile of sand without checking to see what the departure times were on the tickets buried within. How dumb can you possibly be? When we were searching for the bus tickets to Cortina in Milan, we found all three of the departure times before we selected the earliest bus. We searched for all of them even though we had information from one of the other teams that told us where tickets were to the 4:00 AM bus.

Steve: Maybe they are casting folks who do not own a television set.
I’m also getting tired (already) of teams worrying about what Rob and Amber are doing, and/or where Rob and Amber are.
Dave: I’m also getting tired (already) of teams worrying about what Rob and Amber are doing, and/or where Rob and Amber are. Who cares???!!! Run your own friggin’ race, and let Romber worry about what they are doing/where they are.

Steve: I can picture it now. We cross over to Survivor and our tribe is all worried about us. Of course, with good reason - as we are poised like Diane Cannon from “Trilogy of Terror” with ALL the coconuts.

Dave: I was somewhat disappointed to see Ryan & Chuck go. They seemed like they would really be a lot of fun had they stayed in the race, but…

Steve: Yeah, somewhat. But we can puff out our chests a little as we got to “stress test” a few more challenges.

And finally, here’s something we thought we would add to this week’s column. We’re going to call this one “Spot Romber.” We wondered why everyone was so worked up about Rob and Amber being on TAR7, when they’ve been showing up everywhere. Just look below for evidence of that (and Dan Brown – if you’re reading this: talk to us about a potential runaway best-seller, “The Romber Code”).

All in the Family?
(From the Romber appearance on “All In The Family”)

The Last Romber
This purports to show Romber within Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper.” The enlarged inset seems to show both Rob and Amber.